Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Army Wives ARE NOT Lazy! Let's Stop The Bashing, Folks!

So I've noticed a disturbing trend lately on social media and online in general. And I'm curious, what is with all the military wife bashing? Seriously, you look up, "Are army wives..." and this is how Google finishes your sentence:



How does that make any sense?? From what I've seen, there seems to be this growing trend of wives being disparaged or looked down on for one reason or another. They have the nerve to (gasp!) express appreciation for perks like military discounts etc. Or they don't work outside of the home.

Here's the thing. Yes, I work. And I love my job. But that doesn't mean it's my right to look down on other wives whose primary jobs are looking after kids and taking care of their households. I feel like more and more, civilian women are encouraged to go after their dreams and do what THEY want, whether it's seeking fabulous jobs at high-powered companies or raising a brood of the cutest children you ever wanted to see.

But military wives (at least, from what I've seen) don't have that luxury. We're called fat (even though we have multiple kids and can't remember when we had time to even look at a treadmill), lazy (even though we put most if not all of our energy into taking care of our families); I could go on and on but I'd rather not.

I'm a member of several support groups online and even in those groups, where you would think one could feel comfortable asking questions or discussing issues; there's this huge fear of the possibility of someone using one of the above adjectives to describe us. There  are entire websites and Facebook groups (I won't name them because I don't want to give them the free publicity) dedicated to making spouses feel like crap over silly photos, questions, or even Facebook profile pictures.

Whether you agree with someone else's lifestyle choice or not, shaming another wife (OR husband for that matter) for the choices they've made is not cool. And some of these "choices" are so inconsequential! I mean, my friend wants to take pictures in her husband's BDU jacket and send them to him. Or there's a new wife online asking how Tricare works and what benefits she should enjoy as a spouse. How does this affect my life? Oh, that's right, it doesn't. So why  should I be so bothered by someone else's life that I feel the need to publicly shame her or insult her? What happened to "judge yet lest ye be judged"? Why are we all of a sudden so hateful towards each other?

I don't know about you guys, but I'm over it. Our differences in opinion, in choices we make, etc. are what makes life interesting. So if you're reading this and maybe you've posted to one of those sites or bashed someone for making a comment or post that you didn't necessarily agree with, I implore you. Next time, maybe just shake your head and then keep it moving? In the end, nothing we do or say can change someone's personal view of the world or who they are at the core, so what's the point in being nasty? Anyway, that's just my two cents.

What do you all think? Have you noticed a lot of spouse bashing online or in real life? Tell me about it!

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5 comments:

  1. Oh gosh social media is plain old evil. Everyone judging everyone. Sure there are some lazy, horrible military wives. And there are also some horrible attorneys wives and doctors wives and accountants wives. My main job now is taking care of our household and my husband and I find it far more fulfilling than my job was. People just need to shut it and quit giving their "opinions" when no one asked.

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  2. There is criticism for everyone, everywhere on line. Imagine if those who felt it necessary to criticize actually had to face you. Live your life well and shrug your shoulders to the rest. As long as you know who you are and what you stand for, the rest of it can all just fade away:)

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  3. I completely agree with both of you! Folks should definitely mind they're own business, unfortunately, most times they don't and that's when you have to ignore the hate and keep doing you. Thanks for your comments!

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  4. The problem with telling everyone to just mind their own business comes when you put all of your business out there on social media and they are added to your friends list for one reason or another. I met this chick once who I added because she was looking for advice on something and I decided to be helpful. Within 5 minutes of adding this chick I knew that her boyfriend had cheated on her and that she had forgiven him but was still posting on her statuses about his infidelity for her whole list of friends to gang up on him. If you forgive someone you do not keep bringing it up and certainly are not supposed to allow your friends or anyone really to talk bad about the one you love publicly. Regardless of his past actions there was no reason to hound on him all over her statuses. Needless to say I deleted her before offering my advice on anything.

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  5. Hello and thanks for your comment! You bring up an interesting point, some folks have an issue with over sharing especially on social media. My thing is to do exactly what you did, delete the person and keep it moving.

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